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"If you're watching C-SPAN on a Saturday night..."

"I got one 'woo.'"

"You remember."

"We're all here tonight at nerd prom."

The final White House Correspondents' Dinner

"I'm also used to being second gentleman."

"Too chilling for you guys?"

"I'll be delivering the Republican response."

"Manage your expectations, people."

"Room just froze faster than Mitch McConnell."

"Can we just acknowledge..."

"Stop emailing us!"

"I thought I saw Matt Gaetz here tonight..."

"Jimmy Carter is out there thinking..."

"Biden laughed."

"You think you're better than me?"

"Your words speak truth to power."

"And the race is tied?"

"Nothing makes sense anymore."

"Decency is why we're all here tonight."

"Sleepy Joe is still awake!"

"Wordle is here tonight."

Courtroom sketch artist

Criminal masterminds who bike to get ice cream

"You're the funny one in the family."